On exercise

This gem comes via my brother. Whilst on a walk with the dog, Robert decided to walk an extra block:

Dad: Why are you going the long way?
Robert: Dad! We're taking a long walk!
Dad: [Frustrated grunt] "Ugh, I JUST WALKED ALL AROUND WALMART!"

Dad in Athens

So many people already know that my dad is one of the biggest home bodies in the world. He only travels cross-country to visit family. I can probably count the number of states he's been to on one hand. Though he has traveled out of the country a few times in his 20s (Sandals doesn't really count does it?) it's pretty much safe to say he's not really all that cultured. He ate a hamburger every day for a month straight, I'm not exaggerating.

So when he decided to travel to Athens, Greece with my brother Andrew to visit my other brother Robert during his time there I just knew the quotes were going to be the best:

Is that fried chicken?

First dinner:
"What is this crap?"
"Uhh dad, that's olive oil [for the bread]."
"Well, what do I do with it? Where's the butter?"

While rummaging around Robert's kitchen and coming across Baklava:
"Eww what's that? Is that fried chicken?"

Dad on People

In the parking lot:
"I hate people. They can't drive. Get outta my way dorkface!"

On Miley Cyrus:
"She's such a dork. Does she have a big follower group?"

While watching a story about an autistic person:
"Andrew, is he artistic?"

Dad's Feelings

Dad loves us very much and he has a way with words to show us just how much he cares:

On Robert's accolades: 

"Well Robert, I'm proud of you. You've done a lot of crap I wouldn't ever do." 

On Andrew and Robert's conception: 

"You weren't an accident... you were special."

Moving In

I've never kept up a blog like I wanted to. I'm not sure it is all that interesting but here I go again. If you read any of it it's because you are genuinely interested in what happens in my life, right?

So, as most of you know, Evan and I moved back to Mesa, AZ from Knoxville, TN after three years. Evan finished law school and I got my dream job teaching Physics at Mountain View High School. To save money and make a dent in our school loan payments we decided to move in with my dad. It's been mostly great and sometimes challenging. The best part about being back at home are "Dad Quotes". That's what this blog will mostly contain. I don't really know if anyone finds them funny or not. You may need to know my dad first. But they are hilarious to most of us. He can't help saying what he thinks. He tries to stop himself so I won't put it on FB. But he can't stop being himself and for that we thank him. :) Without further ado... here's a classic: 

Me: "Dad, let's go on a walk."
Dad: "I just took my shoes off."
Me: "Well get some flipflops."
Dad: "Thongs?"
Me: "Yeah, wear some thongs."
Dad: "Well that's what they used to be called before you started sticking them up your butt."